


What's Lost Can Be Found

by Insane1001



Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood, Comfort, More Blood, More angst, Violence, more violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-04-28 13:32:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14450310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Insane1001/pseuds/Insane1001
Summary: Seth's back and Dean disappears.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is my first fanfiction for wwe that I am posting. I got a lot (and I mean a lot) of help from everafter-in-neverland from tumblr, I coulnd't have written this without them.

He doesn’t really remember how he got here, in this carnage, in CZW. He remembers Seth trying to be friendly, almost too friendly, and that Roman had seemed to just accept it and started letting him back in. He remembers making excuses and finding his boss and telling them he couldn’t do it, that he needed time. He signed some paperwork saying he was temporarily retired and that he could do what he wanted during that time. Dean remembers all that, but he can’t remember how he made the decision that put him back in CZW. He’s glad he made the choice though, to come back to a time where he had no brothers, no one to watch his back but himself, and even though years ago he had been happy to leave this toxic environment, now he’s happy he’s back.

The toxic environment was just what he needed. He needed the adrenaline, the panic of being stuck in a situation he couldn’t get out of. He needed to not remember, he wanted to forget even if only for a moment or two. So he threw himself into match after match. Every time he got hurt he could feel his adrenaline spike and his boys, his brothers, disappeared from his thoughts for just for a moment. So he threw himself back in harder, ending up bloody and broken but with a moment of peace from the memories.

It was the first time he’d felt alive, felt relief since he’d left, since Seth had started working his way back into his life; feeling the glass shatter as he landed on it, the pain causing him to smile in bliss because he couldn’t see his brothers, couldn’t see their faces as he crawled to his feet and launched himself back into the fight.

His voice goes after he’s strangled a touch too hard. His bad shoulder hits the apron as he’s released and he feels it give, a piercing pain running through it, and he throws himself bad shoulder first into the ground to push it back into place. His bruises have bruises at this point and his cuts have cuts; his life has narrowed down to when the next match is and how soon he can be in the ring again.

The barbed wire catching on his skin is like meeting an old friend. It tears at his skin as he yanks his body away, and he knows he’s going to need stitches but gets back up to fight anyway, the feel of blood sliding down his back and the sound of it hitting the mat calming him. The pain of these matches will always be there for him and he’ll always be able to come back to them.

He can feel the tension creeping back in as the cuts from the barbed wire are stitched and he ignores the medic’s advice of not fighting to let himself heal. Instead he signs up for the next fight possible, savoring the feel of the stitches as they pull at his skin when he moves the wrong way and they way they start to ache after another day of fighting.

The matches he signs himself up for get progressively more dangerous and bloody until it finally comes around, The Tournament of Death.

 

Roman hadn’t really noticed at first. He’d stopped and chatted with a few guys and even spoken to Seth for a minute before he headed to the locker room. The fact that Dean’s stuff was gone when he got there didn’t immediately alert him to anything being wrong and when he couldn’t find him before heading to his own car he just figured his boy had caught a lift with someone else and had headed off. What had been disconcerting was Dean not being at the stadium when he arrived the next day. He left it alone to start off with, his boy wandered occasionally, everybody knew that, and he might have been running late or had even gotten lost, that had happened once or twice. Then the show starts and Roman still hasn’t seen Dean and the worry really starts to set in. His boy wouldn’t miss work for no reason, and after checking his messages and not seeing anything from Dean saying he wasn’t going to be in, he went to find the schedule. He knew Dean had a promo to shoot tonight and a match but maybe they were later in the show and he was going to arrive then instead of coming for the whole night.

The schedule showed no sign of a promo or match for Dean though and Roman was starting to panic. He started asking people if they’d seen him and when the resounding no had finally sunk in he moved back to his locker room, letting his body sink onto the bench. Maybe he shouldn’t be worried, maybe Dean had lost his charger and hadn’t been able to tell Roman he wouldn’t be in tonight. Roman took in a deep breath trying to force himself to relax. He’d give it one more day to see if Dean showed up the next night and then he’d start full on panicking.

Dean’s not there the next night either and now Roman is on the verge of full blown panic because this isn’t Dean. Dean doesn’t miss matches or not come to work and this being the second night he’s been gone is causing something in his gut to twist and his hands to sweat. He needs to know his boy is okay, needs to see him in the flesh.

Roman starts walking, lost in his thoughts, not really knowing where he’s heading. He’d checked in with most of the guys the previous night and if none of them had seen Dean last night he was betting the answer was the same tonight. There was one guy he hadn’t asked though and he was the one person left that who might have some idea where Dean could be, Seth.

Roman’s brought out of his thoughts as he collides with another body and looks up only to see the very person he was about to go find, Seth was standing there giving him a grin “You gotta watch where you’re going Roman,” he gave a chuckle. Roman didn’t respond, taking a step back and before he could ask about Dean Seth started speaking again. “I was actually looking for you,” he started, “I’ve been looking for Dean and I can’t seem to find him I was wondering” only to find Roman suddenly cutting him off with a colourful array of swear words.

Seth stood quietly for a moment before taking a step forward, looking a mix of worried and concerned as Roman ran a shaky hand through his hair. “Roman?” he asked “whats wrong?” Roman turned, not answering, and stormed towards the locker room. He could hear Seth behind him trying to keep up with his pace but Romans mind was spinning ‘Seth had been his last chance, his last hope at finding out Dean’s whereabouts, and from the line of questioning Seth had started it was obvious he was a clueless as Roman was’. 

Roman finally got to the locker room and headed straight for his bag to rummage for his phone, holding a hand up to silence Seth once he stumbled in after Roman looking like he was about to start ranting. He knew Dean’s number by heart at this point and was hoping his boy would pick up or that it would at least ring, but all it did was go straight to voicemail. Roman, being as desperate as he was left a message. “Dean Babe, call me back when you get this. This isn’t like you and I’m starting to worry.” 

Once he’d hung up he turned back to Seth who looked concerned. “Roman, whats going on?” he asked. Roman growled more to himself than at Seth before saying“Dean hasn’t been to work for the last two days and I can’t get a hold of him. No one knows where he is” Romans voice had acquired a frantic edge to it as he slid down the wall he’d backed himself against, shoving his face into his hands. “I just want to know he’s okay” he pleaded, desperation in his voice.

It’s over a month later that they finally come across a clue about Dean’s disappearance. Roman’s the one that finds the flyer, spotting it in the hand of one of the tech guys, and he enters into a brief conversation to see if he can take the flyer. The man, after seeing the absolutely murderous expression on Roman’s face, offered it up without a word. Roman stalked off, flyer crumpled in his fist as he made his way into the locker room. Sitting heavily on a bench, he lifted the paper up and smoothed out the now crumpled edges only to find the result was still the same, a picture of Dean bloody and beaten under the words Tournament of Death. 

The sound of the door opening startled him and he jerked his head upwards, locking eyes with Seth who was watching him cautiously. Roman lifted the flyer, a grim look on his face. “I found Dean,” he declared and Seth was on him in seconds, pulling the flyer out of his hands before stepping away. “Tournament of Death?” he asked sounding freaked out. Roman nodded, “apparently Dean’s gonna be there and this might be our only chance to find him and bring our boy home.”

Roman and Seth arrived before the fights began and watched as wrestlers and fans arrived but there was no sign of Dean. In fact they didn’t end up seeing Dean until the fights were starting and names were being announced for the first match. They were both watching the entryway when the announcer spoke the words they’d been waiting for. “You might remember him as Jon Moxley but he’s now going under a different name. Dean Ambrose” The crowd went nuts, cheering and screaming as the curtain fluttered and Dean walked through the entrance way. Roman was instantly cataloging everything he saw; the limp in his walk, the black bruises decorating his face and arms, the way his shoulder was obviously swollen despite the heavy bandaging and the obvious swelling and the cautious way he was holding his arm to his ribs. 

Roman felt his stomach clench because Dean hadn’t even fought yet. He should be ready for a fight, should be bouncing and relaxed, but he’s not and all Roman wants is to run to him and scoop him up, to cradle him against his chest like hes something precious, like he’s worth something, and take him home. He wants to take care of his boy, wants to wrap his injuries and check his bruises and keep him safe somewhere far away from here.

Dean has climbed into the ring by now though and the announcer keeps speaking. “This match has been declared a free for all. The contests can use any weapon they bring or find in, under or around the ring.” The crowd cheers even louder but Roman can feel himself growing panicked. There’s no way Dean’s getting out of this match without being further injured.

Upon entering the ring Dean was met with glares from his two opponents. He gave them both a once over before tuning them out and attempting to relax. Letting his arm fall to his side, he rolled his bad shoulder and tried to loosen up the muscles in the few minutes he had before the match started.

As soon as the bell rung and Dean launched himself at his opponents, adrenaline running high as he managed to knock one man down and get a couple of hits in before he was pulled off and thrown into the ropes. When he rebounded from the ropes he was met with a clothesline, flooring him. Just as he got back to his feet, Dean screamed a white hot pain burning through his shoulder, and the impact of being hit with something solid sent him crashing back to the mat. He saw something wooden flash by out of the corner of his eye before he felt it make impact with his shoulder again, the familiar sensation of barbed wire pulling at the now broken flesh, and he cursed loudly, body jerking in an attempt to get away. As he twisted, he managed to get a look at one of his opponents standing over him, a malicious grin on their face and a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire in their hand before the weapon was brought down for a third time. Dean’s tank top was in ribbons at this point and the bandages and flesh underneath weren’t fairing any better. Dean slowly raised a hand to prod at his shoulder and upon pulling his hand away he was met with the sight of bright red blood. Steeling himself Dean glanced down at the flesh and found it looked as if it had gone through a meat grinder. He looked up again and stared at the bat in his opponent’s hand, noticing the barbed wire had flecks of his flesh and blood from where it had caught on his skin and been ripped away causing more harm than good.

Dean was saved from another hit with the bat when his opponent was hit in the back by a bundle of light tubes by the third guy in the match. Dean took a chance to hesitantly move his shoulder, trying to get a feel for the damage done, and was met with a sharp pain that made him cry out. Dean pulled himself up onto his knee’s and attempted to rotate his shoulder, but upon there not being any movement, he gave a snarl and drove his shoulder into the mat. He repeated the motion again before pulling himself back to his feet and gently rolling his shoulder. It still hurt but it would do for the rest of the match. 

Dean looked up to see one of his opponents holding a cinder block while the other was laid out at his feet, and ducked out of the way just as the man threw it, tackling the man to the canvas for a one count. Dean was pulled away from the pin and roughly shoved to the ground, his head meeting the cinder block with a not so gentle thud. His opponent lowered himself beside Dean, trying to get a grip on his hair before lifting his head to slam it back down onto the cinder block. Dean snarled, tearing his head away from the man’s grip before he could make impact rolling his body, lurching away.

Dean finally managed to get back to his feet, breathing hard, he raised his head only to catch his two opponents gesturing at each other and then back at him. Dean swallowed roughly, licking his lips as he edged back, pressing into the ropes. He watched as the two men turned and stalked towards him, herding him into a corner. Dean, not being able to go anywhere, took a chance and lunged at his opponents but was shoved roughly backwards. 

One man pinned him in place while the other grabbed roughly at his bad shoulder, wrenching it forward and to the side. Dean yowled, his body bucking as he fought the abuse. Looking down he could see the rivulets of blood staining his arm and what was left of his tank top. His tank top was quickly ripped away however, revealing the nasty bruises he had collected over the weeks and stitched cuts that were red and inflamed.

One of the men dug his fingers into the stitched wound and pulled hard, yanking the stitches from his skin and causing the wound to reopen, blood gushing down his side. Dean gritted his teeth, face screwing up and breathing heavily as his bad shoulder was pulled back against the ropes. Dean twisted as he was pushed back and lashed out, kicking one of the men and managing to dislodge them. He pulled his arm out of the other man’s now slack grip before tipping him over the ropes and out of the ring.

Dean threw himself at the man still in the ring, knocking him off his feet and rebounding off the ropes to knock him down a second time. As the man scrambled to his feet again, Dean kicked him in the gut, hooking his arms under his opponents to drag him down for a nasty dirty deeds. Dean twisted on top of the other guy, forcing his opponent’s head against the mat while he felt one of the man’s hands trying to tighten around his neck before falling away. Dean grinned, dragging his opponent’s face along the mat to cause friction burns. He could see one of the mans hands flailing out of the corner of his eye and he felt another hand trying to push his own down off the mans head before a piercing pain invaded. He screamed at the intense pain radiating from his hand and looked down to see that his opponent had thrust a spike through his hand, pinning it to the mat. Dean snarled, yanking the spike out of his hand and watching as the blood flowed from the wound before turning his attention back to his opponent. The man was struggling to reach the edge of the ring and Dean sprung into action, spike still in hand as he pulled the guy back into the center of the ring by his hair. Dean pulled his opponent’s head back before bringing the spike down to drag it across the guy’s forehead and watched with a grin as blood welled to the surface. He raked the spike along the guy’s forehead again and again, watching as more and more blood fell, before the guy managed to twist out of his grasp. Dean instantly pulled him back, using his full weight to wrestle him down and smashing his head into the canvas. Tangling his fingers in bloody hair, Dean struck the man’s head against the mat one, two, three more times before hooking his legs and holding him down for a 3 count eliminating him.

Now there were only two of them left in the game. Dean turned frantically, trying to get eyes on his opponent, but was too slow as the man came up behind him and looped a belt around his throat. The belt was taught and Dean found himself being tipped over the top rope, dangling uselessly over the side. His feet kicking out, searching for purchase and his fingers desperately tried to get in between the harsh leather and the fragile skin of his throat, his shouts sounding garbled as he was yanked further from the ground. Panic swept through him as the light started to fade from his vision and was instead filled with spots, black starting to creep in from lack of oxygen.

Suddenly he was dropping to the ground, his whole body lurching as his lungs sucked in the air now available to him. His body heaved and gagged as he knelt outside the ring, trying to will his body to stop shaking and for the spots to leave his vision. 

Dean yelped as a hand suddenly sunk into his hair and tightened, pulling him to his feet and back into the ring. The lack of air had made him wobbly and he was too dazed to fight off his opponent who was now lifting him into the air. Then he was falling and pain tore threw his nerves as he felt glass shatter against his back as he made impact with it and he could feel the shards cutting into his skin. Dean lay there for a minute surrounded by the broken remains of the glass pane, relishing the pain and the distraction it brought from the crowds and the outside world. When he does pull himself up into a sitting position, he can feel the blood starting to trickle from the dozens of cuts, the stinging sensation bringing him back to the ring.

Dean lifted his head and watched, dazed, as his opponent pulled a table covered in barbed wire out from under the ring and slid it into the ring followed by a couple of light tubes. Dean groaned, pulling himself to his feet. He wobbled slightly on his first step, watching the man now climb into the ring, not even glancing at Dean as he started setting up the table. Dean reached for a light tube while the man was distracted and was able to lift it and bring it down over the back of his opponent’s head. The man stumbled on impact and turned to face Dean who had grabbed a second light tube and wasted no time in bringing it down over the top of his opponent’s head. 

Dean wasn’t able to reach for a third before he was being thrown to the mat, the breath knocked out of him as he gasped, and his opponent moved to lift him in his arms, taking a couple of steps. Dean tensed, knowing what was about to happen before he was thrown down, the table cracking under his weight and barbed wire digging and slicing threw his skin. He groaned as he sat up, pulling himself away from the barbed wire, and slowly got back to his feet, his body protesting after the hits he’d taken. 

His opponent was heaving. All he had been doing was throwing abuse at Dean and now the man was exhausted after not having taken any time to catch his breath, which gave Dean a distinct advantage. He threw his body at his opponent, knocking them both to the ground. The blood coating their bodies made things infinitely more difficult as they grappled, both constantly losing their grip on each other,but finally Dean rolled the other guy up pinning his shoulders to the ground as the referee counted to three and the bell rung.

The referee helped Dean to his feet before pulling his good hand above his head as a voice rang out over a microphone “and your winner is Dean Ambrose!” the crowd was on their feet as they screamed and cheered but Dean just swayed, feeling as though he was underwater as he was helped from the ring and out to the back where the medics were stationed.


	2. Chapter 2

Seth and Roman heard the bell ring to start the match and Dean was moving.They watched as Dean managed to get one guy to the ground before being hauled off and thrown into the ropes where he rebounded and was met with a clothesline, both Roman and Seth wincing at the force that was used.

Roman tensed as one of Dean’s opponents brought in a barbed wire bat and, as if in slow motion, watched it being brought down on Dean’s shoulder. Roman saw Dean go down before his scream tore through the haze and brought Roman crashing back. He’d never heard a sound like that come out of Dean’s mouth before and it shook him to his core, his heart racing with fear. The bat was brought down again and Roman clenched his fists. He could feel himself shaking with anger as he felt his stomach knot in worry and he willed Dean to just get back up. He was solely focused on Dean that he barely noticed Seth jumping to his feet beside him. 

Seth felt shock hit his system as the bat connected with Dean’s shoulder a final time. He could feel the anger flooding his body and as he yelled at the guy still hitting Dean he could feel how shaky he was.

Roman growled under his breath as Dean was pushed into the corner and his bad shoulder was yanked from one side to the other. The worry pulsed inside him as Roman continued to mutter encouragements to Dean, and he could hear Seth’s voice echoing his mumbled urgings as he yelled “c’mon Dean”.

When Dean eliminated the first opponent both Roman and Seth closed their eyes, slumping in relief. They were just glad Dean was still pulling through and they both were happy the bat was no longer in play. One down, one to go.

The relief was short-lived as a belt quickly became a noose and Dean was hung over the side of the ring. They watched as Dean struggled to get air into his lungs and Roman jerked violently as fear coursed through his body, snarling as he got to his feet to yell. It was as if he was watching his boy die before his eyes and the horror of Dean choking was settling in. All Roman wanted was to beat the man holding the leather belt into a pulp and Seth had to scramble to hold Roman back from running to the ring. The temptation to run to the ring himself was near overwhelming though and the terror he felt increased the longer Dean was left hanging. Seth could see how Dean’s fingers were trying to get between the leather and his throat, and the desperation that filled Dean’s movements made Seth tear up. Seth only released a shaky breath when Dean fell to the ground, gasping.

For a moment the fight turned to something more sedate, using nothing more harmful than tables and barbed wire. Both Roman and Seth relaxed, fear ebbing away in the face of something they were more used to. While Dean was being thrown around the ring still, he was also managing to get some of his own hits in, and seeing Dean slammed through a table was, unfortunately, a normal occurrence.

The moment the spike went through Dean’s hand and into the mat, however, nausea rolled through both Seth and Roman. The sight of Dean’s hand with a spike impaled though it, blood dripping from the wound, made Seth gag. It was like something from a horror movie. This wasn’t fake though and Seth felt fear pull at his stomach at the thought of the damage it could have caused. Broken bones, sliced tendons, nerve damage, there was no telling how severe it was from this distance. Glancing at Roman, Seth could see his thoughts and fears mirrored in Roman’s eyes beneath the anger. Roman was staring horrified at the implement, and gave an inaudible growl as he watched the man who had done this get up to try and reach for another weapon. As Dean pulled the spike from his hand and more blood gushed from the wound, Roman felt himself go pale and shaky. It didn’t seem to deter Dean from lunging at his opponent though, moving like he hadn’t just pulled a spike from his hand. Roman shifted, fists clenching so tight that the skin around his knuckles was white. He was starting to look sick, his face pale, and the horror and worry were showing more than the anger as Dean’s hand kept bleeding.

The moment Dean managed to pin his last opponent, Roman and Seth felt relief hit them even as the desperation to get to Dean increased. Roman and Seth instantly moved to try to make their way through the crowd and reach Dean but were caged in by the people cheering, and by the time they had gotten through the crowd, Dean was long gone. 

Roman led them into the back where the cars were parked and all sorts of wrestlers were loitering around or getting ready for their matches. Seth stopped next to him, taking a deep breath. “Where should we look first?” he asked. Roman scanned the area before a sign caught his eye. “Medical,” he stated, voice firm. “He looked fucked up after that match,” Roman continued, “I’m betting they took him straight to medical.” Seth nodded before gesturing for Roman to lead the way.

They followed the signs and found him under the medics tent. Dean was sat there, flinching away from the medics as he was treated. His hand was tightly wrapped and he snarled as his shoulder was popped back into place and wrapped his body jerking away from the medics. He kept his head down throughout it all though, avoiding eye contact.

Roman froze momentarily in the entrance of the tent, taking in the sight of Dean now that he was out of the ring. His tank top was gone and there was blood everywhere, but Dean was safe and for a moment Roman let the relief wash over him. He felt Seth pause next to him and heard him release a deep breath, obviously thinking along the same lines. Roman quickly took the last remaining steps to shorten the distance between him and Dean. 

Roman lifted a hand like he wanted to touch, but closed his hand into a fist before dropping it back to his side and speaking softly, “Dean?” He watched as a full body flinch went through Dean before he raised his head, his eyes widening as they landed on Roman and then Seth. 

Dean eyed them both before slumping back into the medic’s still prodding hands and averting his eyes. “What are you doing here,” he mumbled confusion evident through the slurring. Roman gave him worried look, “you disappeared, Dean.” Dean raised his eyes, but before he could reply the medic started talking, giving the two men next to him a glare, before turning to Dean. “You should be fine, Dean ” he said, before his voice became firmer, “especially after lots of rest. If there’s is any sudden pain or you’re unable to move your shoulder, and by extension your arm, go straight to the hospital. The same goes for your hand. Try and stay in a low stress environments. That means no fighting until you’ve been checked and given the all clear.” Dean gave a grunt and got to his feet, swaying slightly as he stumbled a few steps away. Roman took a step forward moving to grab Dean’s elbow and gently halting his movements as Seth responded to the medic. “Don’t worry, we’ll watch him.” The medic nodded, eyeing him for a moment before walking away, and Seth turned to see Roman speaking quietly to Dean.

Seth moved towards them, watching as Dean pushed away from Roman, still stumbling, and swatted Roman’s hands away as he tried to grab him again. Seth moved forward, trying to steady Dean himself, but upon seeing Seth reaching for him, Dean flinched and threw himself back towards Roman, Dean growled lowly as his feet got twisted and Roman seized the opportunity to wrap an arm around Dean’s waist to stop him from falling, pressing Dean’s back against his chest. Roman curled around Dean, his hand settling on Dean’s stomach as he whispered into Dean’s ear. “Breathe,Babe,” he murmured. “Were not here to hurt you,” he continued, attempting to calm Dean down as Dean struggled, his body jerking In the embrace. Roman kept up his gentle rumblings, stroking his hand over the tense muscles of Dean’s stomach, and ever so slowly Dean started to calm down. Roman hummed softly in approval, whispering “good boy, that’s it,” and Dean’s body slumped in Roman’s arms as he fully relaxed. Within Seconds Dean’s body became deadweight however and Roman instantly tensed, ducking to see Dean’s face. Roman heaved a sigh and adjusted his grip when he realized the exhaustion had simply caught up with Dean, finding his boy sound asleep. 

Roman turned to Seth who was hovering beside him. “Lets get him to the car.” Seth nodded in response before hesitantly starting towards the car, unable to stop himself from looking back to check on Roman and Dean. 

After getting Dean into the back seat, Seth climbed in the driver’s seat and Roman climbed into the passenger’s seat. They both sat there in silence for a moment, allowing the event’s of the last couple hours to wash over them, before Roman took a glance back at Dean and gestured for Seth to start driving.

Roman gave a sigh as they pulled up to the hotel and swung his door open. Getting out of the car, he moved to the backseat, taking in Dean who had slept through the car ride and gently pressing a hand to Dean’s good shoulder, giving him a light shake “Dean, Babe, we’re here,” he spoke quietly as Dean was roused from sleep, eyes half closed as he looked at Roman. “Ro?” he questioned, voice slurred. Roman nodded, “yeah, Babe. C’mon, lets get you inside.” Dean gave a half-nod before attempting to climb out of the car, nose scrunching up as his limbs refused to cooperate. Roman gave a chuckle before getting a proper grip on Dean and tugging him out, taking all of Dean’s weight so he didn’t fall.

By the time Roman had Dean situated and ready to move, Seth was waiting by the hotel entrance for them, shooting them concerned looks and clearly fighting the urge to help. Roman ignored the flinch Dean gave at seeing Seth and proceeded to half herd, and half carry him inside the entrance and headed straight for the elevators. Seth trailed behind dejectedly,only managing to catch up as the elevator took a minute to work its way down to them. 

Roman guided Dean into the elevator, letting Seth press the button, upon where an uncomfortable silence settled over them. Roman kept a firm grip on Dean who had been slowly becoming tenser and who Roman was worried was going to try to make a run for it when the doors opened. When the elevator doors finally opened, Seth moved first, heading straight for their room with key in hand, and Roman herded Dean along behind Seth until, finally, they were all inside the hotel room.

Dean immediately moved past both of them, climbing onto the armchair that was across from the bed and somehow folding his long body so he fit with his legs tucked up on the cushion and his shoulder’s hunched in, arms wrapped around himself as he gazed at the floor, not making eye contact as Roman and Seth both got comfortable sitting across from him on the bed.

Seth was the one to break the silence that had fallen over the room, unable to take it any longer as he felt the underlying worry gnawing at his gut. Leaning forward, he asked “What the hell was that?” the worry obvious in his voice despite the harsh words. Dean didn’t respond however, keeping his body tense and eyes trained down.

Dean couldn’t will himself to look at either man. All he wanted was for the two men in front of him to be back in his life; he’d missed them everyday since he’d left, the gnawing hole had grown where they had once belonged in his heart and all the pain and torture he’d put himself through couldn’t erase his feelings for them. He couldn’t let them back into his life so easily though; he’d put his walls back up and he couldn’t allow himself to let them down just like that.

As Seth grew steadily more upset Roman observed Dean. He’d been with him during the aftermath of Seth’s betrayal but it hadn’t been like this. Back then Dean had been all anger and heartbreak, throwing himself into getting revenge. Now it was like he was just broken though, a shell of the man they used to know. Roman could feel the worry churning in his gut and all he wanted to do was bring Dean into his arms and comfort him, but he knew Dean wouldn’t want to be touched, not when he was like this.

Seth, on the other hand, jumped to his feet to start pacing, frustration visible in every step “I just don’t know why you did this to yourself!” Seth snapped at Dean who flinched at the tone and then again when Seth moved closer to him, still keeping his gaze trained on the floor.

Roman went to stand intending on going to pause Seth in his pacing, but before he could move, Dean suddenly spoke.

“Why are you even here, Roman" Dean growled, voice low, "it's not like you care." Roman froze looking liked Dean had slapped him. "Baby boy," he started, voice cracking "I always care about you. I was worried sick when I couldn't find you." Dean just huffed in response however, teeth digging into the flesh of his thumb as his eyes flickered between Roman and Seth. Seth moved suddenly, causing Dean to shrink back and Seth felt his frustration boil over, making him snap again. "What is wrong with you! Why did you leave without telling anyone?" Dean glowered in response, and before he could reply, Roman moved, holding up a hand to keep Seth from continuing and shooting him a look that made Seth glare at him in response, looking like he was going to argue before he huffed, throwing his arms up and turning away to continue pacing the room angrily.

Roman turned his attention back to Dean and moved to kneel in front of him. "Baby boy, you know I'll always care about you," he whispered softly, but Dean simply grunted in response, still avoiding eye contact. "Dean" Roman murmured, "what's this about?" Dean slowly lifted his gaze, looking at Roman helplessly. "Why'd you even come looking for me? You’re obviously fine without me." Roman’s face darkened, eyes hard. "That's not true. I'll always come looking for you, even when you don't want to be found," Roman growled in a deep voice lifting a hand to cup Dean’s face when he dropped his gaze to the floor again. Roman tipped Dean’s face up so he could make eye contact and felt his anger drain away at the sight of Dean’s eyes. They were misty, as if he was on the verge of crying and Roman’s face softened as he moved a hand to wipe underneath those broken blue eyes.

Roman cautiously placed his hands on Dean’s thighs, rubbing gently in the hopes of soothing his boy. "Now, you wanna tell me what happened?" Dean looked at Roman, chewing on his bottom lip before hesitantly starting, "it felt like you were leaving me for Seth.." Roman hummed comfortingly and gently squeezed Dean’s thighs as he prompted "and?" Dean sighed, "and it felt like one day Seth was off hating us, wanting nothing to do with us, and then the next he was everywhere and acting like he hadn’t done anything wrong like we were friends. He was just around all the time" Dean paused, gulping, "and people had been pointing out how much time you were spending together and " he paused again, taking a deep breath, "and I couldn't handle it." Roman could feel Seth’s eyes train on him and Dean at the revelation but chose to ignore it as he tightened his grip on Dean’s thighs, making sure to hold dean’s gaze as he spoke. "That would have never happened" Roman stated firmly "I would have run it by you I told Seth that he had to apologise to you first, but then.." Dean swallowed nervously as Roman paused, and Roman sounded lost as he finished his thought, "but by then you were gone." 

Seth cautiously moved forward, but Roman still felt Dean go tense under his hands as Seth knelt next to Roman. "Dean," Seth started, voice trailing off, all his anger clearly having left after what he had heard. " I didn't realise what I was doing was pushing you away." Dean grunted going back to avoiding eye contact as he locked his gaze on where Roman’s hands were still resting on his thighs. Roman saw Seth reach a hand out before stopping himself and letting it drop back into his own lap as he continued. "I thought I was taking the first step. I thought maybe I could work my way into your good books." Dean grumbled again but Seth ignored him, "I know now that I was wrong and I should’ve done this the first time." Roman looked over at Seth, surprised to see unshed tears in his eyes. "Dean I'm sorry." Dean’s gaze jerked up as he swallowed roughly and choked out, "what?" Seth repeated himself, "I'm sorry, Dean. I should have said it the moment I realized I wanted you back in my life, you and Roman". 

Dean stared at Seth, his blue eyes hardening and piercing into Seth’s as the surprise wore off. “The question, Seth,” he spoke in a harsh voice, “Is why now?” Seth looked confused and stumbled out, “What?” Dean gave a harsh noise, “Why are you coming back and apologizing now?” Seth looked lost as Dean’s gaze didn’t waver, and Dean bite out, “Did you finally realise how alone you actually are? or did you want back in? Wanted your team mates back so you got stab us in the back again?”

Seth took a moment, staring helplessly at Dean, before glancing at Roman and moving back to the bed to get a little space as hr slowly started voicing his thoughts. “When I was out with my knee, I had so much time to think” Seth swallowed. “To think about who I am and what I had done with the authority, and I realized that I didn’t like who I had become.” Seth paused again. “I didn’t like the person I was, the person who betrayed his brothers and would get handed matches. That person wasn’t me, wasn’t who I ever wanted to be.” Seth glanced back up at Dean, making a point to keep eye contact for the next it. “I realized that I messed up. I hurt you and I hurt Roman and for what, to be better? To get to the top? While in doing that I lost who I was, I lost my sense of self, and I lost the people that matter most to me.” Seth broke eye contact with Dean then, looking over at Roman as he finished “I wanted to be that person again, the person who my brothers could trust, and a person who could trust himself.”

Dean gave Seth a hard look before closing his eyes, thoughts swirling. Things had been such a whirlwind since Seth had started inserting himself back into his life and Dean hardly knew what to think anymore. He had spent so long being angry and heartbroken over Seth, had spent the last few weeks destroying himself in an attempt to get away from it all. He had devoted so much time into going after Seth already though, years worth of matches and snide remarks and pain.Maybe now it was time to leave it all behind. 

Dean slowly took a deep breath and opened his eyes. “I forgive you, Seth,” he murmured, making eye contact with Seth who looked teary eyed and gave a watery smile. “You mean it?” he asked, face heartbreakingly hopeful. Dean gave a small grin, relaxing into his decision. “Course I mean it dumbass,”he muttered. Seth looked overjoyed and went in for a hug, body practically thrumming from excitement. He gently wound his arms around Dean’s waist and pressed himself against Dean before murmuring, “you wont regret it, Baby.” before pulling back, he looked at Roman for his reaction and found him gazing at Dean with a soft look. “I’ll follow your lead, Babe.” Roman murmured before he turned looking at Seth, gaze hardening. “But it’s up to Dean how this goes. You fuck it up with him that means you fuck it up with me.” Seth nodded, smile bright on his face.

Seth excitedly jumped to his feet to offer Dean his hand and pulled him to his feet, Roman standing up with him to make sure Dean didn’t stumble getting to his feet. Seth, who was still vibrating with excitement reached for Dean’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Let’s get some food into you,” he grinned before continuing “you’ve had a long day.” Dean nodded slowly as Roman gently pressed a hand into his hair, ruffling his curls. “After that it’ll be time for bed,” Roman added. Dean gave a small chuckle at the way his brothers so easily fell back into old protective habits before nodding his head. Before Seth left to get food, he stroked a finger along Dean’s jaw, face softening. “We have a big day tomorrow,” he murmured and Dean hummed in reply before smiling.“I’m gonna need the energy if I’m coming home with you tomorrow.”

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is lunatic-desert-child


End file.
